What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
