when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
