Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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