I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
