it wasn't lemon gatorade
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
