Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
