Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
