I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
