What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
