I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
