i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
