cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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