I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
