I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
