he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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