I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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