What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
