apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
