He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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