Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Randomize
