I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
PANTIES FOUND
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