i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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