What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
