I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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