No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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