if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
