i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize