Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
