I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dick very happy bro
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
