i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
only you would photoshop your dick
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
