ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
