I wish life had little blips of pornography
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
