Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
