I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
