Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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