Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
