farters have to be the big spoon...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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