I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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