I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wear drunk well.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
