lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
