butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Terrible idea I love it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
