OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
