Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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