If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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