ugly people sure do ruin things
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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