do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
