I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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