woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
