I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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