I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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