"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
