So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
