I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
