why didn't you poke me back
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
