Kiss
Puke
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Randomize