just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
