Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize