she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
