I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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