i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize