Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
