Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
